Fiction Friday : Harry Potter

In honor of Harry's birthday yesterday, I have decided to do my very first Fiction Friday post about Harry Potter.

And why I hate it.

Well, that's not true; I just think that Harry Potter is terrible.

Harry Potter is probably our favorite topic of discussion in our home. We talk about the magic and the world and the characters and, of course, Harry. There will be many future Fiction Fridays featuring Harry Potter. There's just too much fodder for discussion. So, for today, we will start small. Let's see. Dumbledore.



No, that's too broad. There are a lot of reasons Dumbledore is the worst (stay tuned). Let's talk about Dumbledore and the Chamber of Secrets! Ground rules: we will only use the text as written by JK Rowling and things that Rowling herself has said.  This will be fun!


Remember Gilderoy Lockhart? The golden haired Adonis of the wizardry world that all the witches are ridiculously in love with? Even our most clever Hermione Granger is not immune to his charms despite his obvious incompetence. I say obvious because two twelve-year-old boys notice it. I don't know how many twelve-year-old boys you have met, but unless it's boobs or farts, nothing is getting all of their attention. Even Hagrid, the guy who tried to raise a fire-breathing dragon in his wooden hut in secret, thinks Lockhart is an obnoxious moron.


This begs the question: how on earth did Lockhart get hired at Hogwarts?

Albus Dumbledore is the best wizard since sliced bread. Everyone loves and admires Dumbledore and if they don't, you know that they are dark wizards, like the Malfoys. As a reader we trust his judgement because people that he likes, we like. Like Hagrid and McGonagall. His greatness is why he is headmaster of, presumably, the only school for wizards in Britain.

But he hired Gilderoy Lockhart! What is going on there? As I see it, there are only two options.

1) Dumbledore recognized that Lockhart was a terribly incompetent wizard (because Dumbledore is not a complete moron) and hired him anyway. In this theory Dumbledore becomes much like the Joker, wanting to introduce chaos to his school just to watch the world burn. Perhaps not chaos. Maybe he hired this idiot to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts because he believe DADA is sort of played out, a lot like HomeEc. No, wait. Dumbledore is one of the few who knows that Voldemort is still out there which would make him one of the few who truly understands the importance of DADA for the young wizards and witches in his charge. Well, this theory doesn't really work, does it? Not unless Dumbledore is a villain. More on that later.

2) Dumbledore did NOT recognize that Lockhart was a terribly incompetent wizard. Now, according to the book, the only people who don't realize that Lockhart is a total twit, are the ladies that are in love with him. Also, maybe, the more flamboyant members of the magical community. But Dumbledore isn't...oh, wait, JK introduced sexuality to her characters by telling us that Dumbledore is gay. It seems that Dumbledore's judgement was so clouded by his desire to get some celebrity strange that he couldn't see what everyone else saw.

I'm not going to go into more detail; gotta keep the maiden voyage of this here blog short and sweet. I can and will and have ranted about this for hours. David and I just cannot let it go. If you have thoughts about Dumbledore and Lockhart leave them in the comments! I can't figure it out.

If you want to read more articles that will ruin Harry Potter for you might I suggest these lovely Cracked lists!
6 Horrifying Implications of the Harry Potter Universe
Why the Harry Potter Universe is Secretly Terrifying
The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by Harry Potter